5 Reasons you NEED to implement Date Nights

My hubby and I have been dating for 12 years and married for 6. We've always had a kid in the mix so we've never had a ton of "us" time to ourselves yet we didn't decide to implement date nights until we'd been dating for 10 years.

What changed?

What didn't change is a better question. Our careers changed. We changed. We started TTC. Social media became the distraction of all distractions. We were undergoing more stress. Really, just about everything changed. We found ourselves prioritizing everything else over each other and although we were still "okay", we both agreed (read: I forced my hubby into agreeing with me) that it would be nice to set aside 1 on 1 time with each other once a week.

Simply put. Date nights are a must have.

Fast forward one month and we quickly realized that once a week wasn't gonna work. It was too much work...we were too tired...we were broke! Just about everything got in the way of us meeting this weekly commitment we set for ourselves. So we switched it to once a month date nights and I'm so happy that we have stayed pretty consistent for 2 years now!

It hasn't been easy and it hasn't always been possible. But we find time to make it work and we always come off of date nights feeling refreshed, respected, and appreciated. Don't get me wrong - we truly adore our kids but it's nice to have a night or even a few hours to ourselves.

Simply put. Date nights are a must have. Here are 5 reasons why you should start planning a date night with your boo and some tips for how to make it work with every budget.

---

5 Reasons you NEED to implement Date Nights

1. You need a break. I know you're superwoman and all but it's okay to need a break every now and then. Sometimes we need solo breaks but your man needs a break too! Why not take one together and get a little closer at the same time ;)

2. You need a reason to dress up! Or is this one just me? If you WFH or are a SAHM especially, you will probably feel this one. I need reasons to put pants on because if not, I will work in a t-shirt and undies all day with a scarf on and no makeup. Give yourself an excuse to put on pants, do your hair, and remind bae just how lucky he is!

3. You need a reminder of how much fun you have together. Managing life and the lives of your little ones can start to feel routine and dry. It's hard to remember how much fun you have with your partner when you are both too tired to function or all of your conversations revolve around household chores, what's for dinner, and the texture of the baby's poop today. Get out and create some new memories!

4. Sex isn't a date. Yup. I'm looking at you. Don't roll your eyes. I know some of you think, "We go on dates all.the.time..." Sis. A booty call is a booty call even when you're happily married. 15 minute hump sessions are great (trust me!) but they don't count as dates! If your date just so happens to lead to sex...that's a different story. But let's call a spade a spade, and sex, sex...and dates, dates.

5. You need to focus on each other. Stop and count how many conversations you had with your sig. other this week that happened while one of you was either listening to TV, looking at your phone, or talking to your kid in between your conversation. Date nights, (when done correctly) should be the perfect time to step away from all of the distractions and focus in on each other.

Tips for making date night implementation easy.

1. Pick a cadence that works for both of you. That might be monthly, weekly, every third Friday- whatever works for you. Some things to consider are... what is realistic for the two of you based on your schedule? When do you get paid? How often will you have a sitter available? Consider it all but don't overthink it or over complicate it!

2. Set a price limit. Setting a price limit makes it that much more feasible on our end. It's fun and challenging to have to stick within a certain price limit. Our date night limit is $75. Sometimes we go over (we really try to minimize this) and sometimes we go under, but we always try to keep it affordable so that money doesn't become a barrier.

3. Alternate who plans each date. This is my favorite part of our date nights! We each take on a month and alternate who plans the date for the month. This keeps us on our toes and we're a little bit (read: hella) competitive so we always try to one-up each other so it can get really spicy, lol.

4. Set limits and stick to them. Don't let this become a burden by setting clear limits on the front end. Don't want to do anything physical? Make that clear. Don't want to do anything overnight to strain your babysitting options? Lay it all out in the open so that dates don't have to be cancelled or rescheduled.

5. Make it a priority. Date nights are as good as you make them and similar to other things you are trying to make habit- require routine. If you do date nights four months and then skip it for 3 months, it's harder to get that momentum going again. Determine your cadence and consider skipping specific dates ahead of time. For example, we don't plan date nights during our birthday month or anniversary month since we know we will probably have a date to celebrate those occasions.

---

Date night has become a vital part of my marriage. They give us a chance to love up on each other, be competitive, be goofy, and have fun sans kiddos. I hope these tips are useful to you as you plan or revive your own date night! Let me know how your date goes in the comments!